Parenting Tips

Planning Ahead

 1. If there are several kids and two adults traveling together, consider booking seats in different rows.  The kids can trade places mid-flight and enjoy some one-on-one time with each parent.  If one child gets especially distracting to surrounding passengers, the child has somewhere else to go.  Even ten rows may be enough soothe both the child’s and the passengers’ nerves.

 2. Take advantage of the pre-boarding call for families by sending one adult ahead on the early boarding call to install safety seats, stash backpacks, and maybe stow a surprise in the kid’s seats. The remaining adult and children then board the plane at the very last moment.  This way the kids have every last minute available to stretch their legs before they face the close quarters in their seats, and it may increase the anticipation and novelty of airplane travel.

 3. If the travel schedule allows, large families with two adults may do well to actually fly separately – one adult and kid(s) a few hours preceding the other adult and kid(s). This works on the premise that one adult and one or two kids can maneuver more easily than two adults and two (or more) kids.

 4. Think about your own comfort needs for the journey – wear comfortable, easy-care clothing and shoes built for walking, for example.  Dark colors are also great for hiding stains – consider the traveling mom whose young son bonked his head at the airport and bled all over her shirt.  Thankfully the boy was fine, but their flight was canceled and mom spent the next 24 hours in that shirt.  It was navy blue, however, and no one noticed the stains.

 5. The early departing adult can get curbside dropoff while the later departing parent can park the car and get shuttle transport to the terminal; the early departing parent can take all the checked luggage, then upon arrival can secure luggage and the rental car or shuttle schedules, so the later arriving parent can get easy curbside pickup.

 6. Pack a light “fun” bag for the children.  Kids as young as two may delight in having their own bag or backpack to carry through the trip – just be aware that it may lose appeal after a short while and will be carried by an adult, so plan accordingly.  Let the child choose a special item or two to pack, but stash a surprise in the bag as well, and call on it if the child needs a distraction.

Pack Healthy Meals And/Or Snacks for the Journey

 Bring healthy meals and snacks with you.  It may be hard to believe, but airport and airline food has become more expensive, less diverse, and less healthy in the last several years.  When flights are delayed, airport food options can quickly become scarce.  Add that to the rigorous security restrictions for carrying liquids and gels, and travel delays with kids becomes daunting indeed.  Again, planning for contingencies like delays can make the difference between “adventure” and “ordeal” on the travel day.  

 1. Find an insulated lunch box with a leakproof container to carry foods for your travel day. If you are flying, leave the ice pack at home or be prepared to surrender it to the security personnel, as it breaks the 3 oz rule.  Instead,  fill a bottle with ice cubes or a small container with water and freeze it ahead of time.  It will work well as a coolant and when time comes to go through security the ice or water can be pitched. Otherwise, snacks should only be non-perishable.

 2. Pack the lunchboxes before leaving home, but I don’t let the kids open them until they are on the plane. This serves several purposes: it keeps the kids moving towards the ultimate goal (buckled in their seats), and they may just act like it’s Christmas morning when they finally get to tear into their boxes and see what goodies you have stashed for them. 

 3. Be sure to fill the containers with goodies that will delight and sustain through a long day.  Remember that “treat” doesn’t have to mean “unhealthy” and variety is essential. There are plenty of options: dried fruit, fresh fruit, salad greens and other sliced vegetables, crackers, pretzels, popcorn, hard cheeses that tolerate room temperature, jerky, smoked salmon, chocolate, granola (note that bars are less messy but are usually loaded with sugar).  If you wish to add a sweet treat, chewy fruit snacks are often a favorite.  In consideration of other travelers, avoid common allergens such as nuts. 

 4. Don’t forget that you will need snacks and distractions for the trip as well.  Many of the same foods will appeal to adults, but if you can carve out the time before the trip to prepare, create a “build your own appetizers” selection by packing different flavors and varieties of crackers and sliced breads, mini breadsticks, crostini, blini, pita chips, or other “base”.   Then pack small quantities of plain or flavored cream cheeses (use a small spoon for spreading), olives, pickles, pimentos, capers, scallions, smoked salmon, beef jerky or other dried meats, hummus, sliced fresh or lightly steamed vegetables, or whatever else pleases your palate.  You will be the envy of your cabinmates.

 5. After traversing the security gates but before boarding, fill a drink bottle with fresh water in the terminal.  You may even find a food vendor willing to provide ice.  Just remember when you open the bottle mid-flight that the change in cabin pressure may cause the bottle to spill, so keep a napkin handy.

 Winter travel is a memory, but picnic season and summer travel season are right around the corner.  With a little planning and foresight, “half the fun is getting there” may come back into favor after all.

 




By: Nancy Myers

If your child attends school in a mainstream classroom setting, a certain time-honored tradition may be coming up soon for you: Parents Night, or Back-to-School Night as it’s called in some schools. 

For many parents of children with special needs, Parents Night can be a little intimidating.  In fact, when I brought up the topic with the special needs parent community on Twitter a couple of weeks ago, many folks shared that they secretly dreaded Parents Night – and some planned to skip it altogether.  Today I’ll share my tips for not just surviving Parents Night, but also making use of the evening for some very specific purposes. 

These tips are actually a formula you can follow that will have you sailing through Parents Night with ease, from the moment you step into the school building until the time you get home.  I’ve also included recommendations for following up the next day if needed. 

1. Do NOT skip Parents Night! 

I know it may not be easy, but this ONE evening – just an hour or two of your time — is filled with unique opportunities you won’t want to miss out on.  Putting in an appearance at Parents Night is a building block in your good working relationship with the teacher(s).  It’s a chance for you to get acquainted with his/her style and teaching methods, as well as the classroom, curriculum, and materials.  And there are many more opportunities.  Get child care coverage, get a ride — do whatever it takes to get there! 

2. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. 

Don’t feel obligated to educate the teacher or the other parents during Parents Night.  It puts too much pressure on you.  There will be other, better opportunities for teachable moments.  So give yourself permission to relax and take a back seat on this night.    

3. Introduce yourself personally.

When you get to the classroom, briefly introduce yourself, with eye contact, a confident smile, and a handshake.  (This is most welcomed by teachers, who often feel nervous on Parents Night too!)  If you already know the teacher, be sure to say a quick hello, still with a smile and handshake, and a “nice to see you again.”

4. Scope out the classroom for anything that might be a distraction, obstruction, or safety issue.

For instance, one year I discovered that my son, who has a hearing impairment, was seated next to a heating unit that was making so much racket even I couldn’t hear the teacher or the other parents around me, and my hearing’s pretty good!

5. Enjoy.

Allow yourself the luxury of really taking the time to look at your child’s work.  Notice brush strokes in his or her artwork, word choices in his or her writing … all of the little things that are the product of your child’s thoughts, imagination, and creativity. 

6. Leave a note, or draw a picture, for your child.

Write a little note to your child, and leave it in or on his or her desk, cubby, or locker.  Tell your child how proud you are, with a generous sprinkling of smiley faces and hearts!  If your child is not yet reading, draw some cute or funny  pictures.  He or she will be have a surprise and a smile upon arriving at school the next day!

7. Resist the urge to have a detailed conversation w/ the teacher.

If you have a lot of questions or concerns, or even if you just love to talk, this is not a good time to have a big long chat with the teacher.  Save that for a phone call or meeting with the teacher another time.  (But do see #12 for a great way to have a great QUICK “exit conversation” with the teacher.)

8. Be patient with the other parents.

This is one of the hardest parts for parents of children with special needs:   how to deal with the other parents in the room who may not understand your child or what you go through on a daily basis.  They may not know the “right words.”  Be patient with them, and remember that 99% of the time folks really do mean well. 

For example, one year a parent I was chatting with at Parents Night said to me, “So, I hear there’s a deaf kid in the class, I wonder how that’s going.”  This parent didn’t realize the “deaf kid” was my son!  Now, I normally wouldn’t call my son a “deaf kid,” but I passed over that part, and focused on the positive: that this parent really was genuinely wondering how things were going.  I happily answered, “Oh, you must mean my son, yes, he has a hearing impairment, and this year is going SO well for him so far …. ” etc.  

9. Connect with parents of your child’s classmates, particularly ones he or she has mentioned.

If there’s time, find a few parents of other children in the class your child has been talking about.  Introduce yourself and strike up a conversation.  Tell them the nice things you’ve heard about their son or daughter.  If the conversation’s going well, you might ask if they’d like to meet at the playground some afternoon, or if their child would like to come over for a playdate some time. 

10. Don’t feel like you have to explain or make excuses. 

Don’t get dragged into a detailed conversation about the services your child receives, or why he or she is receiving them.  It opens the door to too many potential issues.  If the subject comes up, keep it light, and move on to another topic.  And remember: never be apologetic about your child’s disabilities.  You can be proud of your child, no matter what. 

11. Take notes.

Make mental notes, or jot down actual notes, on any questions or concerns you’d like to bring up with the teacher in a phone call or meeting later in the week.  Also, jot down some positives to talk about as well:  anything you feel is working well for your child in terms of teaching practices, classroom activities, etc.   

12. Before you leave, connect with the teacher one more time. 

Here’s a good 1-2-3 way to do this:

1. Offer one positive comment, such as “My son is really enjoying the Pilgrim Project!”  Or “I love what you’ve done with the Writing Corner.”   

2. Offer one small question, that’s purely for information and is simple and quick for the teacher to answer.

3. Say a big thank you, give another handshake, and say “good night!”

13. Go out for a cup of coffee afterwards to collect your thoughts.

If Parents Night stresses you out, give yourself the gift of a little “buffer time” before you go home.  If you’re planning on a follow up phone call or meeting with the teacher, this is a good time to complete your notes from #11. 

14. Take the rest of the night off when you get home.

Leave the cleanup and the “getting things done” for tomorrow.  Take a break, turn in early, and get a good night’s sleep.

15. Follow up with an email the next day,

for any teacher you’d like to speak with individually.  Keep it positive and brief, perhaps something along the lines of:

“Dear (teacher’s name), I enjoyed meeting you last night at Parents’ Night.  I had a few more questions — when would be a good time for me to call you or stop by the classroom?  I’m looking forward to talking with you!”

I hope this formula for success will help you leave those Parents Night jitters behind, and go forth with the confidence of knowing that you, too, will enjoy Parents Night – and make good use of the time – at your child’s school this year.   




By: Joan Celebi

often become fascinated with the allure of dancing flames and sparks.

Because children have a natural curiosity about fire, they might experiment with it when adults are not around to supervise. That’s why it is important to teach children at an early age about match safety and the danger of fire, as well as the difference between a controlled flame and one that is unsafe.

Birthday parties and other family events provide opportunities for parents to demonstrate match and fire safety. Diamond, the No. 1 producer of wooden matches in the United States, offers the following safety tips.

* Always keep matches in a secured drawer or locked cabinet away from curious children.

* Encourage children to tell an adult when they have found matches in a place that is easily accessible to them.

* When lighting candles on a birthday cake, use the occasion to discuss match safety with children and demonstrate proper safety practices. Use Diamond’s Birthday Candle Matches, which are twice as long as standard wooden matches, to easily light candles and keep your fingertips away from the flame’s reach.

* Once a match is used, discard it properly. If you blow out a match and throw it in the trash, there is a danger that it might not be totally extinguished. To reduce this risk, use the Diamond MatchGuard, a new matchbox design with a push-to-open match drawer and safety disposal chamber for extinguished matches.




By: Silvester Thompson