These are the first 5 of 10 Effective Parenting Tips – look for the next 5 in our next article.
Your kids deserve your very best all the time. You’ve only got one chance to mold them into the kind of adult who is productive, thoughtful, enthusiastic, visionary and hardworking. You won’t always feel good about doing what is necessary, but remembering that you’ve only got one chance to get it right for them will help you do what you need to do. Here are five effective parenting tips to help you:
1. There Is No Tomorrow. You’ve only got right now, today, to do the right thing and to be there emotionally for your children.. Once this “right now” is gone, it’s gone forever. Decide that you will make the most of every single moment as often as possible. Decide that you will give them your complete attention even if it means setting your stuff aside. Of course you won’t be at the 100% level. No one is. But if you decide in this right now moment to utilize as many of the following right now moments with your kid’s benefit held at the forefront, they will benefit from your decision.
2. Begin With The End In Mind. It won’t do any good when your child is eighteen years old to look back and wish you’d done things differently. Right now is when you get to make the decisions that will affect his getting to eighteen. Think through what you’d like that to be and then think about how you’ll have to “be” in the intervening years to help your child accomplish that. Be sure to listen to what your child says he wants and weave that into the plan. Help your child become an achiever. Your primary goal as a parent is to give your children the tools that they can use to lead happy, healthy and successful lives. That’s all that matters. That is your magnificent obsession. Remind yourself each day of the goal you’re working towards and remind yourself that it doesn’t happen in a single day.
3. Your Influence Is Greatest Every Day. Teaching is what you do every time you interact with your children. And it always happens today. There isn’t a moment when you are not teaching your children – if you’re helping with schoolwork, watching their team sports or just sitting down to the family meals. It doesn’t matter if you’re having dinner in your kitchen or if you’re a part-time parent who is having dinner at McDonald’s. What matters is that you’re really there. You are a guide and an anchor. Know that you are a teacher, that you are a role model. That’s how you will have the greatest impact on your children. Parenting is about the millions of “small things” and not about big events or sounding great when you talk about them. It’s about the quiet times and the little things.
4. Listen To Them. You’ll Be Amazed. One of the most important things you can do to fully be with your children is to listen to them with full attention. When that little voice in your head is rattling on incessantly about the past or the future, or coming up with an answer to what you think they’re saying, you’re not really hearing what they say. If you’re not present with your children, they know it. What is the message you’re telling them if you’re not present? They’re not worthy? They’re not important? They’re not valuable? Stop. Look. Listen. That means stop what you’re doing, stop watching the T.V., stop reading the paper, stop thinking about other things. Look. Look into their eyes, you’re less likely to be distracted when you’re looking into their eyes. Listen. Don’t let that voice in your head drown them out. Sometimes to make sure I’m listening, I will repeat in my head what they’re saying.
5. Control Your Emotions. Don’t yell at your children. If you yell at children, they do not hear you. Instead, you’re simply upsetting them. That doesn’t mean if you’ve yelled at your children, you’re going to destroy their psyche. Remember, take the long view. We’re building a foundation one brick at a time. None of us is perfect. Yelling at your children and upsetting them once will have no effect on them. Yelling at them the entire time they grow up, well…..let’s hope that somehow children who have to deal with that eventually learn how to overcome it. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. The point here is that it’s not effective. It’s not promoting your magnificent obsession. See if you can pinpoint what kicks off that emotion. It’s not your children. Keep in mind your goal of being a great parent and then create a disconnect. Emotions aren’t a bad thing. The problem is that we have triggers that release our emotions without thinking.
If you use these effective parenting tips, you’ll be on your way to a healthy and happier relationship with your children. Look for five more tips in our next installment in this series.
Watch the video related to parenting tips
Ways to stop a crying baby; learn about teething and crying babies in this free child care video with parenting tips for newborns and infants. Expert: Alisha Folkman Bio: Alisha Folkman is a mother of two and has worked at the Verde Valley Medical Center for nearly five years. Filmmaker: Dixon Gillette
Help answer the question about parenting tips
Any tips on parenting a newborn that you wish you had known ahead of time?I'm about 2 weeks or less away from having my first baby and I'm scared to death that I'm going to mess up…I know that there are natural instincts I will have but I'm sure there are things I should know ahead of time…Do any of you have any tips for me when parenting my new baby that maybe you wish you would have known ahead of time that you would like to share with us….Thanks!!!
About Author
Len Stauffenger’s parents taught him life’s simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. “Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents,” his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
from a parent of adult children:
don't be afraid to discipline and mean it. children (infant to teen) need boundaries/limits. don't be afraid to set them. don't negotiate with children too small to understand. don't give in to temper tantrums.
compliment accomplishments (don't overly reward), set the bar higher each time your child meets your expectations.
love them unconditionally, but let disapproval of certain behavious be known as well and punish appropriately.
advocate for your child in school. get to know teachers, counseslors and principals. expect your child's best performance always.
build their self-confidence, self-esteem/self-worth. don't give them empty praise and empty compliments.
teach them how to handle adversity.
teach them a work ethic. make them work for things they want….assign them household chores and expect them to complete them to the best of their ability.
teach them to respect others. to get respect one must give it first.
be a role model; be the one to emulate. athletes and entertainers are not always good role models.
this could go on forever……………
Do you really think people are THAT retarded they don’t know they should mop it up with a muslin?! Never used a bib on my nephew and he never got rashes on his chest cos you just change their top more often. How would you like something permanently tied round your neck all day?! Oh and incidently, none of this stops your baby from crying. Some baby rattles have a plastic bit at the bottom with a gel inside you can freeze and baby will suck it to ease the pain. That’s just ONE bit of advice.